There are many things in life which teach us how to be who we are now, and sometimes, they aren't pretty. One thing I learn is that, things do change people, because somehow, they made a huge impact in their lives, be it good or bad.
Some people probably doesn't know how it feels to be hurt and left abruptly. After which, ignored like we don't exist, like even an ex is a friend, and then where do we stand in your life? Nowhere. However, I guess everyday is a learning process, where we learn that nothing lasts forever regardless of how much we want them back so badly. Another thing which I learn is that everything we do has its consequences which we have to face.
There are times when I feel like I want to talk about it, however, I realised that if I say it out loud, then I'll end up getting hurt all over again due to the judgements and how people don't really understand on where I'm going. Therefore, it's best to just let it go and keep it inside rather than embarrassing myself. Besides, its best that some things are better off being denied than said out loud, because truth hurts, because there is nothing left to work on anymore. Things are left off the way it is because its a choice that was made.
I want to believe that everything that happens always have a reason, but I'm starting to doubt it now. It must have not been easy to be hurt this way. I even believed that this amount of hurt I'm in is actually impossible.
Aside from the side note of things have been going on in my life which is totally messy, I'm done with my academic semester and my next semester will be my internship semester and then I'm done with school. I don't exactly look forward to working as much partly because this will be the last time studying, unless I decide to move on further with higher studies like Masters or PHD but as of now, I will stop first. I hope for the best in myself too.
This short holiday is gonna be filled with boring stuff to some people, as I will be immersing myself with just my missed TV series, watching endless movies, story books and learning new languages. I actually thought of learning French (Bonjour, je suis la femme), I've started a bit and I'm very happy about it. In addition, I learned Chinese in this semester and I love it, although the characters are kinda hard to remember as there are too many strokes, but I realised that I enjoyed learning it. And what makes it better is that I'm able to understand what people talk and write when I'm out of class. So proud with that sense of achievement. However, I have to admit that my vocabulary is kinda limited, because its only level 1.. and that's why I intended to go on with the next level. However, the problem is if I choose to proceed with my Chinese studies, I'll have to find a language center as I won't be in school next semester to take the language. This too made me realised how I actually love learning new things. Learning doesn't bore me as much. I guess I'm a geek in someways. Besides, by hiding behind books help me overcome every problems I have. Yes I run away from it rather than facing it because it has come to a point where there are no more solutions. With that, I will try and do my best in everything I do, so it will not be of waste thinking about things that will end up hurting me.
I probably want to do some craft stuff as well. There are many things I want to do, I just need time and stop wasting them with sleep. Heh.
With that, enjoy the holidays to all the students around because its break time! Have fun! It's time to dance, dance all I want hehe xx
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